One Million Miles From Home
By Korogi Nagisa
"You dyed my heart in blood,
No way to kill my sadness."
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exported without permission and without its disclaimer
The group ate quietly without a word, but Hide was on everyone's minds. The guys were able to spark
conversation, mostly about the old band and wild parties that everyone had thrown. Heath and Taiji didn't
seem to get along too well, each taking up opposite positions on everything. They had all eaten rather
quickly and had just finished eating when Yoshiki appeared from the back bedroom.
Everyone paused to watch the man as he entered out. He seemed different somehow, a slight shadow
over his eyes gave him a deadly hinge. He said nothing but crossed the room and sat right in front of the
door, leaning his back against it. The four other guys willingly ignored him.
Yo-mawari and Kurama were off in the kitchen cleaning up when Yoshiki had left his sulking.
Toshi yawned slightly, checking his watch stretching an arm out. He had been sitting for too long. They
were scheduled to leave in 5 minutes. He looked over and noticed Pata was passed out cold beside him.
"Ah great… Pata…" he reached over and shook the man lightly on the shoulder. "Yo-mawari-san told
us not to go to sleep. Wake up." He shook him again, harder this time.
Beside Pata, Heath frowned at his sleeping friend and smacked him in the stomach. "Wake up, you
oaf… " he whispered as Toshi continued to shake him.
Toshi frowned and punched Pata once in the arm before he returned to shaking. "Wake up you… "
Pata's eyes flashed open like the wind, a swift hand coming around to catch Toshi's wrist. The strength
of the hold was incredibly, sending rivets of pain down Toshi's arm as Pata sat up slowly.
" Ow… Pata!!" Toshi complained, locking eyes with Pata…
Pata snarled at the other through a deep green gaze that suddenly had replaced the almost black oned,
widening moments before he lept, tackling Toshi back flat over the couch, the two disappearing behind the
couch in a dull thump to wrestle on the floor.
"Gesh.. what's gotten into Pata?" Taiji snorted, straining to see over the edge of the couch.
Heath smacked him on the leg… "Taiji… " he whispered.
"I've never seen Pata do more than make faces…" Taiji was going on, ignoring Heath tugging at him.
Heath reached over and grabbed Taiji by the hair, pulling his head around over his lap. "Look, you
"Ow.. will you…" Taiji fell deadly quiet as he saw what was bothering Heath so much, his eyes
widening. Beside Heath, even though Taiji swore left and right that Pata had just tackled Toshi over the
edge of the couch… lo and behold, Pata was still impossibly asleep on the couch beside them. "Nan da…"
As if the two had discovered a huge, hairy spider, Taiji and Heath bolted from the couch, nearly falling
over each other to put distance between them and the couch. "What is going on here!! I'm pretty damn
sure Pata just pile-drove Toshi over the side of the couch," Taiji pointed to the Pata that still slept on the
"So what the hell is THAT!!" the other pointed.
From behind the couch, the other Pata rose up slowly, vaulting over the side of the couch with the ease of
a cat. A thin trail of blood wound down his index finger as he stepped off the couch and stalked across the
room, glaring each man down with an emerald-green gaze.
"Okay, Pata," Heath snorted. "This ain't funny anymore!"
"Shut up," Pata snarled, rounding around the table, green eyes flashing.
"What the HELL is goin' on here!" Taiji yelled.
Hiei stood slowly to his feet in his corner and watched the copy of Pata stalk across the room, unsure of
what to do. The other Pata seemed to ignore his sleeping double on the couch, keeping all concentration
focused on Taiji and Heath, unnatural green eyes centered on his two band-mates. And Yoshiki still sat
against the door as if nothing was happening, arms crossed over his chest, watching intently.
Kurama and Yo-mawari both looked up as a single unit when they heard Taiji yelling, black eyes meeting
Kurama's green ones. "What was that, kyoudai-kun?" Kurama whispered.
"One of them fell asleep."
Pata and Hide faced each other as they met center-stage, each nodding to the other. Behind them,
Yoshiki struck the four-strike count, Tama's cymbal ringing the opening signal before Pata and Hide began
simultaneously to play.
It was a piece they had played at every concert since Hide could remember - the chords and riffs as
familiar to him as breathing.
Toshi skipped across the stage before Hide and Pata, beginning to sing along to the familiar song.
Orgasm. It had become as much as a band trademark for X Japan as the performance of their songs "X" or
"Endless Rain". Through the years, Orgasm would somehow manage to become a longer and longer song,
the crowds becoming larger and louder, the arena's bigger and wider. For the past half-dozen performances
or so, X had stuck to Tokyo Dome, the biggest strictly-concert hall in all of Japan. And at every
performance, the Dome seemed to get bigger and noisier.
Hide smiled slightly to himself as he continued to play and began across the stage slowly, intending to
join Pata for their duet before Yoshiki was to do his popular 'Fire Extinguisher' routine. Yoshiki would
abandon Tama, the enormous double-barreled crystal drum set at the middle bridge of the song. He would
flit off backstage with his body guards and stage hands and take a fire extinguisher to the crowd. And
oddly enough, the fans loved it… and Toshi absolutely despised it.
Hide chuckled to himself remembering the performance when Yoshiki had gone after Toshi with the fire
extinguisher, Toshi attempting to take shelter behind Hide and sing at the same time. Needless to say, it
was a failed attempt. As the music in the Dome tonight continued to play, Hide listened to Toshi's
singing… get to Orgasm, get to Orgasm…
"Just like death," he said softly to himself, more or less having to scream to be able to hear himself over
the stage amplifiers. Heath stalked the shadows beyond Toshi as he was performing for the crowds, Pata
staying nicely out of sight as he liked to be at times.
Hide heard the drum machines take over Yoshiki's drumming behind him, echoing through the loud
speakers and amps to replace the polished and primed sound of Tama. This would be one of Hide's favorite
parts of the concert, a chance for him to just play and make a nuisance of himself. Hide joined Pata and
they began to keep the background music going as Toshi entertained the crowds, everyone beginning to
stall attention for Yoshiki to go make a random fool of himself for half the world to see.
Five minutes passed as if they were 5 seconds.
And then another five minutes passed much more slowly than the first five had.
Toshi had turned from the crowd, walking back towards the drum set, speaking into the microphone as he
continued to stall as best as he could. He passed Hide, leaning over the microphone, leaning into Hide's
ear. "He's takin' his dear time on this one, ne?"
Another few minutes past and worry began to tug at Hide: it wasn't like Yoshiki to be late like this.
Something must have happened.
He casually made it front-stage and pulled a hand up from his guitar, shielding his eyes from the
spotlights that seemed to never leave him. His brown eyes searched quickly for Yoshiki. "What's takin'
him so long?" he asked himself, finding himself yelling so his own mind could hear him.
Another few minutes past… there was a slight break in the background music as the technicians had to
re-start the drum machine, Pata, Hide and Heath compensating as if it was a natural part of the program.
As Hide continued to play, getting rather bored of the riffs, the head of Pata's guitar poked him in the side.
"Where the hell is he?" Pata yelled over the amp system.
"Dunno. Can you cover me?" Hide shot a glance to Pata.
Pata started up a rather complicated riff and took the crowds attention as Hide faded into the background
and un-strapped his guitar. He laid it rather roughly on the floor and hoped off the main stage.
Immediately, a group of stagehands intercepted him, a good friend of his cutting him off at the pass. "Hide,
what are you doing?"
"Where is he, Raven?"
"Yoshiki, you bone head," Hide huffed and pushed passed the taller American. "He was supposed to be
in the crowd by now."
Raven chuckled and frowned, giving chase after the short pink haired man. "Hello! Where have you
been, kid? The concert's been over for almost 3 hours now. You feelin' okay?"
"Don't bullshit me, I just got off stage."
"So THAT's where you've been!"
Hide frowned as he pulled to a stop, narrowing his stern brown eyes as he turned from his trek in search
of Yoshiki. The backstage was quiet, the sound of the construction workers taking apart the set rattling
through the rafters. Occasionally, a stagehand would scurry by on errands, but all in all, things were quiet.
No over-powering sounds of the loud speakers, no screaming fans… "What the…"
"You okay, kid?" Raven asked again, leaning in with a frown. "Yoshiki wanted to talk with you. I think
he's still in his dressing room," he threw a thumb over his shoulder.
Hide frowned again and made his way quickly down the hall, turning into Yoshiki's private dressing
Inside, the distinct smell of hairspray and cologne mixed with cigarette smoke hit him. Yoshiki always
smelled like the odd concoction, even after he had cut off nearly all of his beautiful hair. "Yo-chan?"
"About fucking time…" a voice came from a closet, Yoshiki backing out into Hide's view with a flannel
shirt. "Where in the HELL were you??" he snarled, turning to Hide with a frown. "You missed the band
meeting. You're 3 hours late. I know you and time, Hide… but this is RIDICULOUS!"
"I… uh… guess I lost track of time… or something…"
"Three goddamn hours, Hide?" Yoshiki flung on the shirt, tying it about his waist without buttoning it.
"What were you doing… or better yet … WHO were you doing?"
"It wasn't like that!! Last thing I remember, we were pulling out the solo of Orgasm. You never showed
up, so I came to look for you."
"You've been drinking again, haven't you? Christ, will you ever grow up Hide?"
"Get off my back!" Hide yelled back, pounding a fist into a table. "I had no idea the concert was even
over. I don't remember a fucking thing!"
Yoshiki grumbled and turned his back to Hide, fidgeting with something outside of his vision. Moments
began to pass between the two of them, breaking apart the room into it's own sections set aside for each
Hide signed lightly and ran a hand through his short pink hair, feeling it flick through his fingers. "Sorry, Yoshiki…"
"Shut up. I don't wanna hear it."
Hide raised thin brown eyes and watched Yoshiki closely. "Excuse me?"
With an elegant flutter, Yoshiki turned around and quickly came to stand face to face with Hide,
overpowering the other with his presence and composure without even having to speak a word. The
confrontation was completely unexpected, Hide taking a few staggering steps backwards as Yoshiki glared
him down. "You heard me. I'm tired of your excuses, tired of you being late. I won't wait for you for ever,
Hide stumbled back a few steps at the last sentence, frowning slightly. "Wha… what are you talkin'
"I'm tired of waiting Hide… and I'm tired of you." Yoshiki dipped his head to the side, a flash of silver
catching Hide's eye. Held tightly in Yoshiki's hand was a long, thin ginsu knife, the man turning it around
in his hand carefully as if it was a fragile porcelain figurine. It seemed to neither occupy Hide's attention,
nor worry him, the young man watching easily the ease with which Yoshiki manipulated the blade "So… I
might as well put everyone out of their misery."
Now THAT caught Hide's attention, but he was too late. Like lightning, Hide barely saw Yoshiki move
through the thick air between them, Hide's mind catching up with reality to discover that Yoshiki had a firm
grip on his hair, Hide's neck being bent back at a rather uncomfortable angle, the ginsu knife at his throat.
"Shit… Yoshiki, take it easy," Hide choked, trying to quickly rearrange his body under Yoshiki's demands.
"Shut up," the other snarled in his ear, giving the pink hair a firm jerk, sending a million needles of pain through the others head. "I loved you Hide… and you couldn't have given a rats ass about it or me."
Hide saw the ginsu knife come into his field of vision, the grip on his hair still iron tight. Yoshiki wasn't
playing. "Honestly, Yo-chan. I have no clue what you're talking about!!" he yelled, panicked.
Yoshiki's grip on Hide's hair brought him to his knees, feeling Yoshiki press his body in behind him as
the other knelt behind. The knife raised to a perilous height in Hide's vision… " I'm going to do the world a
"Yoshiki… you can't do this…"
"If I can't have you no one will…" the knife flew…
Hide felt it split his stomach in two in a momentary numb pressure. Instant waves of pain shot through
his abdomen, the knife coming back into view as Yoshiki retracted his attack. Try as he could, Hide
couldn't move nor could he scream out, either in pain or for help. His support left him, his body going limp
in Yoshiki's grip, Yoshiki tossing the thin body to the floor as if it was a discarded towel.
A few moments passed and Hide slowly regained use of his arms, trying to push himself off the floor. A
small pool of blood was forming under him, dripping rhythmically from his stomach. "Yoshiki," he
whispered, feeling a wet tear roll down his face to ping into the blood pool underneath him. "Why are you
"Shut up," Yoshiki cursed through clenched teeth, Hide feeling his head being jerked back again,
aggravating the already throbbing wound. The knife flew, cutting into Hide's shoulder.
Again… his cheek…
"Yoshiki!" Hide managed to almost cry, throwing out an arm to knock Yoshiki's grip. In a boneless
thud, Hide fell back on the hard carpeting, folding into a momentary pile of limbs and blood. Panicked,
bleeding and in pain, Hide hoisted himself on his hands as Yoshiki rose to his feet behind him, Hide
pushing his body across the floor to lean on a wall. "Stop it!! Yoshiki! Why are you doing this?!"
Yoshiki didn't answer, but flew across the room. Like a mad man, Yoshiki raised the knife over his head
and began madly stabbing at Hide, not caring if he hit the mark or not.
Through the pain, Hide tried to scream again, seeing Yoshiki's form hovering over him…
"YOSHIKI!!!" Hide screamed as he sat straight up in bed, sweat pouring off his face, soaking the T-shirt
he slept in. His chest hurt fiercely, as if the vivid dream had been real, every instance of it as real as the
room that looked back on him.
Hide tenderly rubbed his stomach, feeling the knotted muscles and aching pain begin to subside as his
body began to separate dreams from reality. "Yoshiki," he whispered, quickly pushing himself quickly out
© 1998-1999 WIRED: K&K Inc.
On to part 4