Date: Thu, 22 May 1997 14:11:44 -0600
To: jq@edc.ml.org
From: Cricket
Subject: JQ: Sailor Jonny: 2
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My nifty little disclaimer as seen in the prologue of this piece also applies here! As do
the warnings of up-and-coming scenes of slight yaoi-ish stuff and just plain bizarre
writing.
PRETTY SOLDIER SAILOR WHO?: PART THREE
PART THREE: AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT
The Sailor Cast:
Jonny: Sailor Moon/Usagi
Mishelle: Sailor Mars/ Rei
Jessie: Sailor Jupiter/ Makoto
Claudette: Sailor Venus/ Minako
Hadji: Sailor Uranus/ Haruka
Travis: Sailor Neptune/ Michiru
Bryce: Sailor Pluto/ Setsuna
Benton: Nega-goon (Ghale)
Race: Tuxedo Mask/ Mamoru
Travis held his head ... or rather yet, Travis's BODY held his head as
Michiru about fainted. "This is NOT happening!" Travis shouted in a clearly feminine voice.
"It's like one of those really bad B horror films!"
"We've gotta find the others," Hadji's body put in as Haruka began leafing
through her school bag she had salvaged from the massive out-of-body madness before.
He pulled out an address book and leafed through it. "Here it is!
Crossroads Junior High! Let's go!"
"BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!" Benton's body laughed maniacly as he ran rather
oddly down the sidewalk, arms flailing as he bound from one foot to the other. "You can't catch
me, you stupid humans!!" he yelled, bursting through a crowd ofpeople.
"OH YEAH? Just watch!!!" Jessie yelled from Makoto's body, trying
frantically to run in the bouncy skirt.
"Come back with my body!!" Ghale yelled ... Dr. Quest's voice. "I
haven't lived through every disaster know to man to have some idiot from another dimension
nab my body and run me into a cement wall!! COME BACK HERE!!!"
"You're gonna tell us how to get back to our old bodies!" Jonny yelled
from the blonde, pigtailed head, flailing like a lunatic. "I am NOT gonna live the rest of my
life as a girl!"
"NEWSFLASH!! You already WERE a girl!" Mishelle yelled from somewhere
behind him ... er, ... her!
"'Puperoni' Pedler!" Jonny yelled back.
" Loving Care Spokes modle!"
"'Mighty Dog' biscuit eater!"
"MON DIEU!! Even in different bodies, you two never keep it quiet!"
Race slid to a stop and hopped back from the sidewalk, flattening himself
against a wall as Benton Quest sped by, laughing like an utter lunatic. He thought the coast
was clear and gingerly stepped back into the sidewalk... only to be pummeled face-first into the
pavement by a group of girls in sailor uniforms.
"eerrrggghhh," he groaned, picking himself off the pavement. "That was
the Scouts! But why are they chasing after that Quest guy?"
Race/ Mamoru got to hi sfeet ... Mamoru got to his feet .... they BOTH got
to their feet, and hurried off after the group of possessed school girls.
Jonny poked a nervous head around the door to the principl's
office. "Um,hello?" he called, Jessie poking her head over his shoulder.
"Usagi ... Makoto ... is that you?" the principle called, looking up
from his desk. He stopped cold when he found the two American's staring sheepishly back at
him. "Who are you?"
"Um .. you see. We've got kinda a little problem," Jessie started.
"OH IT"S TERRIBLE!!!" Jonny burst out, wailing at the top of his/her
lungs. "Usagi!" Jessie yelled. "Tone down the decibels!"
"I like the decibels where they are!!" he screamed. "WAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"
The entire office began to shake under Jonny's constant wailing. The
papers and objects on the principle's desk began to shake and jitter around ... the file
cabinet fell over and the glass window on the door to the office shattered.
"USAGI!!!"
"WAAAAAHHHHH!!! WHERE'S MAMO-CHAN????? WAAAAHHHH!!!"
"Quit with the water-works before you drown us all!!"
"WAAHHH!!! You're just as mean as Rei!!" and he turned and bolted out
of the school building.
"There they are!!!" Bryce pointed to the group of school girls as they
ranfuriously down the sidewalks.
"Who are they chasing? Mamoru?" Hadji asked, his feminine voice cracking
slightly.
"It looks like that scientist guy who was just here a month or two
ago. What wa shis name ... Pest?"
"Quest! Maybe he knows what's going on!"
Setsuna/Bryce nabbed Hadji. "Wait. If we're in the Quest kids
bodies ...then the Quest kids must be in our bodies!"
"That makes sense ... so ... those AREN'T the Scouts ... but the
Quests? Man,this is getting too weird."
"Let's quit gabbin' and get them! Maybe they know how to reverse this
nonsense."
"You're never gonna catch me ..." Benton's body sang, hopping over dogs and
dodging children. Still running, he turned his head completely around and stuck his tongue out,
giving them all the biggest raspberry he could muster. "PSTSTSTSTST ... KERASH!!!"
"AH!!! MY BODY!!!" Ghale/Benton yelped, mowing over a little old lady
walking her poodle.
Benton stood plastered to a telephone pole, arms and hair sticking straight
out before him, little yellow birdies orbiting his head. "Argh .. now who put this here?... " and he
fell backwards onto the pavement, landing spread eagle and completely dazed.
Ghale was the first person there, hovering over Benton's fallen, bruised
body."AHH!! You killed me!! If you weren't in my body. I'd strangle you ..."
*WHAP!!!*
Ghale turned around and was met with a large, flowery purse to the head.
*KABAM!!*
"That'll teach you to run down old ladies!"
*BASH!!*
"Take this!"
*CRUNCH!!*
"And This!!"
* KABAM!!*
Usagi's body ran up to the Nega-goon's body as the little old lady finished
pummeling him into the ground with her oversized purse. "Hey dad. Y'ok?" he/she asked, bending down.
Ghale raised his head, heavily bruised and minus a few teeth. "Never ...felt...
better ... son!" and he collapsed onto the sidewalk.
"Ouch ... that had to hurt!" Jessie's voice came in.
"Yeah!" Mishelle rang.
" I gotta get me one of those purses!"
"Alright, you got him!!"
Everyone turned to see Race's body bounding up the sidewalk.
"RACE!!" the 2000 team all chimed at once.
He slid to a halt. "No, I'm Mamoru ... I'm just trapped in this body." He
looked to Usagi's body and raised an eyebrow. "Who are you, trapped in my girl friends body?"
Serena stuck out her hand. "Jonny Quest. Pleased to meet you!"
------- to be continued-----
Don''t expect much in the way of a developed plot!! It's just utter stupidity!
© 1997 by Jiminy Cricket Presses
On to Part 4